Tuesday Night is Curry Night

Tonight Velouria and I had a lovely credit crunching cheap curry by the fair hand of ASDA. And marvellous it was too. As the end of January is fast approaching, Rio and Velouria felt it only fair to bring up the thorny issue of New Year's Resolutions. Clearly, anyone we like would have broken all of theirs by January 4th at the outside. Therefore, we offer these potential resolutions to people who have probably been too busy to create their own.

In an online blogtastic lovefest we are joined electronically by Highwaylass via the medium of Skype.

The resolutions we suggest are:

1. Natasha Bedingfield to embrace silence.
2. Kate Moss to have a sandwich (with butter but no coke)
3. Barack Obama to not get shot
4. Madonna to dodge leotards and super-glue her ankles together
5. Russell Brand to burn in hell
6. Chris Moyles to shut up and fuck off (courtesy of a guest appearance by Highwaylass).
7. Doctor Who to attain puberty
8. Jimmy Carr. Just don't.
9. Anyone who says 'in terms of' to disembowel themselves with rusty spears
10. The Ting Tings to learn a new song
11. Katy Perry to munch a rug and like it
12. Jodie Marsh to stand near to a candle and melt into oblivion
13. Angelina Jolie to buy a white child
14. Tyra Banks to be president of the universe
15. Orange cokeheads not to be shagged by sour sheep

Your turn: what resolutions should be made, and by whom?

Tuesday night is Curry Night - no 2

As promised, tonight's Curry Night is brought to you by saag aloo, vegetable dhansak, mushroom pilau, paneer saag and huge naan. Velouria is prone on the sofa nursing what can only be described as a curry pregnancy.

Here's tonight's list: Those That We Shouldn't But We Would.

We tried to find an online Venn diagram generator to show where we both agree but failed miserably.

Velouria and Rio both would:

1. Gene Hunt, with him wearing his camel coat throughout
2. Paulie Bleeker, wearing the headband throughout
3. Reece Shearsmith, but not as Edward. Because that's just a bit too wrong.
4. Stuart Maconie despite being from 'the other side' (in unison we both howled 'especially with all those records'. Frankly, we're little short of vinyl whores).
5. Louis Theroux despite being far too posh

Velouria would, but Rio wouldn't:

1. Mark Lamarr (rude, clever and funny)
2. Justin Lee Collins (hairy and funny)
3. Dylan Moran (dirty and funny)
4. Eric Cantona (rude, French and fit)
5. Uma Thurman (fit)

Rio would, but Velouria wouldn't:

1. Jarvis Cocker, particularly in the 'Help the Aged' period.
2. The entire DIY SOS team, starting with Nick Knowles, working through everyone else (except for Billy) and finishing up on Nick Knowles again.
3. Simon Amstell (I don't care that he's gay)
4. Matthew Collins (despite the fact he looks exactly like my ex)
5. Madonna in the 'Like a Virgin' period (I don't care that I'm not gay)

Best rudery of the evening: 'Ray Mears, because he'd look after me in the forest and be up for a bit of bushcraft'. Blame Velouria, not me.

Next week: Guilty Pleasure Choons and Velouria is making curry (with ready-made sauce).

Your turn: feel the love. On whom do you have a wholly inappropriate and quite queasy crush? Post anonymously.