Go outside now.
Find a big rock, preferably a cold, hard one with unappetising facets. A rock that is an uncomfortable and unprepossessing shape.
That rock is definitely going to be warmer and more cuddly than me. Significantly warmer and cuddlier.
Today is Valentine's Day and I have not got a single quantum quark of romance about me. I have never been arsed with the nonsense that is Valentine's Day and I'm not about to change now.
My boyfriend turned up with a thoughtful card and a special note inside.
My card to him said 'Happy non-specific day in the middle of February'.
Sometimes I'm a bit of a shitbag.
11 months ago