Rebarbative

During second year at University I was still under the misapprehension that I ought to do an English Literature degree. That year we studied the Romantic poets thus starting a lifelong dislike of Wordsworth's 'Tintern Abbey'. However, the main recollection I have of Second Arts Eng Lit is how much I hated a bloke called Martin and a new word I learnt. Rebarbative.

Martin was one of the most reviled characters it is ever possible to meet on an undergrad course. He was a mature student. Who climbed mountains. For fun. He had the audacity to turn up at tutorials having done not only his reading but research too. Without a hangover. And on time. How rude. He had furry blue legs (some lame mountain outfit) and a beard. Ohh, how I hated the beard. It was like some highland rodent creature had smeared itself around his gob with the express intent of making his lips look horribly pink and wet. So, whilst idly flicking through the dictionary I found a word to define Martin:

rebarbative: /ri'ba:baetiv/ adj. literary repellent, unattractive [f rebarbatif - ive f. barbe beard]

Loud was the chortling when I discovered that 'repellent' could be a synonym for 'bearded'. It seemed to suit Martin extremely well, and a lifelong inability to fancy men with beards was born.

And I often think that girl is long gone. I don't read the dictionary for fun any more. I did a teacher training course where I was exactly the sort of know-it-all-look-I-got-all-As sort of mature student I loathed when I was an undergrad. I quite like mountains. I turn up for things early without a hangover. But certain parts of one's psyche NEVER alter.

My ex has taken the opportunity of being a free operator to express himself. And he has done this via the medium of ... a beard.

Rebarbative, indeed.