Things that didn't exist last time I was single...

So, this is just how much the world has changed since the last time I was single.

When I was last single (in 1996) the following didn't exist:

1. This millennium.
2. Wireless internet. In fact back then nobody had the internet at home and we wrote letters to people. With addresses and stamps and everything.
3. Hair straighteners. Back in 1996 frizzy hair didn't exist. Or at least it did but it didn't lead to social pariah status or the requirement to buy hair products that repel the weather (imaginary conversation - the rain to humidity: "Christ, she's wearing John Frieda conditioner, that's disgusting ... let's scarper")
4. The idea that leaving home without your mobile was completely normal. I doubt I had texted in 1996. What on earth did I do on buses?
5. Facebook. I'm not adding Bebo to the list as I assume none of my readers have ever had a Bebo. And if they do I'll crap myself as it probably means my blog has been tracked down by one of the kids I teach and my life is now no longer worth living...
6. Big Brother (Endemol version, rather than Orwell's. I'm not that old)
7. Cillit Bang
8. My belly, as back in 1996 I had a midriff. And it was on display. A lot. I remember once spending a lot of time at a Sleeper gig pointing out that my friends and I had concave stomachs compared to Louise Wiener's convex one. Lord, I was a cow. But a skinny cow.
9. Wikipedia. Can you imagine a world where you can't find out at 3am what the Latin name for a camel is? Or who invented the umbrella? A truly frightening concept. (and yes, I am going to post this blog and then find out the answer to BOTH those questions - if Wikipedia doesn't know I'm really not going to sleep well fretting about it...)
10. My son

I bet a chill wind has blown over you at the very idea that only a decade ago you heedlessly and wantonly went places with crinkly hair; you didn't text your friend that you were on the way, and (heaven forfend!) you didn't post the photographic evidence of it on Facebook afterwards. Good thing too probably because this was the 90s and you would have been wearing a lumberjack shirt (damn you Nirvana), eyebrows bushier than the Chelsea Flower Show's herbaceous border and lots of red lipstick.

Listing all that has proven to me how well I adapted over the years to change and I'll adapt well again. I just wish I could trade my belly for my 90s midriff.


P.s. I'd love any visitors to join this game: post a comment listing something that didn't exist ten years ago (you can do it anonymously, y'know)