Move on? There's nobody to see here.

Last night my ex told me that I needed to 'move on' which sounds to me like I'm some sort of rubbernecker at a gruesome car crash. Which in a sense I am ('Move on please Madame, there's nothing to see in the wreck of your marriage'). What he really meant was 'Please could you meet someone else to assuage my guilt about my new girlfiriend'.

So, is there any issue with this? Well, one at least. The majority of people meet their significant others in the workplace. I met my ex in my last career. What's the problem with me doing the same now? The problem is my school's recruitment policy...

Every job advert and specification sets out the criteria for the successful applicant: they must be an excellent classroom teacher with vision and a commitment to children's learning. In reality there is a secret paragraph not visible to the naked idea which says: "the successful candidate will be a single woman in her early twenties. She will be under eight stone and have sleek shiny hair. A Top Shop account card will be an advantage". If you go into the staffroom it's like a casting for 'Hollyoaks'. This does not provide a useful pool for potential boyfriends. Frankly, it would be like going to a singles night held specifically for people who want to meet Serbo-Croat speaking paraplegics with an interest in tractors. It's a bit too specialist.

We're in the middle of recruiting next September's crew of staff. We had a vacancy for a Maths teacher and I perked up immensely as I've always considered this to be the most likely equation:

maths vacancy + interviewee = possible single late 30's male

Who was the only external candidate? A pretty young woman, blonde haired and about 25. Sigh.

Move on? There's nobody to see here.