No, I don't eat fish. Or chicken.

In choosing the perfect holiday destination you should take into account characteristics particular to yourself.

Firstly, I have special skin that comes in four modes:
Mode 1: white
Mode 2: scarlet (following the least exposure to sun)
Mode 3: freckly
Mode 4: peeling

Additionally, I am a vegetarian. A proper one. I do not eat anything that once had a face or a parent and I call any pseudo-vegetarians who ´just eat fish´fish-and-chipocrites.
So, taking into account my skin type and feeding foibles where is the ideal holiday destination for me? Clearly (a) an organic vegetable farm in Reykjavik or, (b) my house.

In fact, I am in southern France.

French waiters have a special Gallic shrug reserved for vegetarians. In one shoulder move they can convey their total amazement that the namby-pamby carrot bothering Britons could ever have won at Crecy or Agincourt and in revenge all I'm going to get fed is an omelette. Hah.
However, there's something great about the holiday. I may be eating salad like a C-list celebrity on course for a 'How I shed the baby weight' special in OK Magazine, I may be smothered in Factor Duffle coat sun-repellent cream. But I haven't had a single argument all holiday unlike the humdinger I had with my ex on the train to Krakow this time last year.

That's progress.