Saturday 12 July 2008

Feeling supersonic, give me gin and tonic

I doubt you need a refresher on quantum mechanics, but here's one. Nils Bohr's quantum theory suggested that as matter behaves differently at the quantum level that we had to 'look' at the matter for it to behave as expected in our world. Hugh Everett III's many-world theory gets around the idea that it appears that at the quantum level matter behaves oddly (it exists in two places at once; freaky) and he suggested the many-worlds interpretation. Basically, Everett suggests that whenever we come to an important decision another parallel universe is created where the choice we chose not to take is followed. So, you go to Dorothy Perkins, remember your bank balance and don't buy the gorgeous frock. Everett would suggest in a parallel Universe another you buys the frock, goes out, parties and maybe ends up marrying the lead singer of a major 80s band such as Duran Duran. Bet you wish you'd bought the frock now, don't you?

So, somewhere in a parallel universe there is another me whose husband didn't leave at the beginning of February. Last night she would have eaten pasta & pesto alone in front of the TV and then snoozed on the sofa. At 2am she would have run up the stairs to bed at the sound of his key in the back door to avoid a fight. Meanwhile, her colleagues would be out celebrating the end of term.

But, I don't live in that Universe because my husband did leave. And so, last night was another milestone. I went to a staff do. This is a big deal (although not enough of a big deal to warrant random capitalisation). I had a blast and behaved fairly disgracefully. I admitted a wholly inappropriate crush to a colleague. I did bum-to-bum dancing whilst pouting with mates. My mini-me friend and I decided that even though there are 12 years between us we were going speed-dating whilst pretending to be sisters because that would make us hotter. For some reason my mate and I ordered about 7 taxis which never arrived so we commandeered a lift to town with a faculty leader's boyfriend. Who we've never met before. I snogged a completely random stranger who is about a decade younger than me in a club. I didn't get to bed before 4am. At one point a kid who I used to teach asked me if I was stoned (no, I wasn't) but I did suggest that the state I was in could be aptly summed up by these Oasis lyrics:
I need to be myself
I can't be no one else
I'm feeling supersonic
Give me gin and tonic
Actually, I didn't need any more gin and tonic because it appears that I was a major factor in the bar running out of gin. No, really. Anyway, I'm glad I live in my supersonic Universe and I feel really sorry for the alternative me in a parallel Universe who is probably having an argument with an alternative ex-husband right now. But, I have to say I'm quite jealous of the other alternative me who once picked a dress that I rejected and is now Mrs le Bon. Well? I can dream.
A game: please (anonymously, if you wish) tell me what an alternative version of you is doing in a parallel universe. This must be based on a decision you made and where the flip-side might have ended up. Go on, it'll be fun - and you can post anonymously!

10 comments:

Nikos said...

Should it not be "Quantaum Electrodynamics"?

In my parallel world imaginary plane I might be a smart arse........

Xs

Rio said...

Hmmn, now I always tell my students that they aren't to use Wikipedia for research but:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Many-worlds_interpretation

But tbh, I picked it all up from a pop-science programme on BBC2, so I can't claim any real knowledge.

Maybe in an alternate universe I understand Physics...

Nikos said...

Well you had me fooled!

Have you read any books written by Richard Feynman? If not you ought to - a truly inspirational character despite being an American.

Anonymous said...

I reckon that if I'd done as planned, I'd be married with way too many kids living a comfortable life in London. The alternative is that of crusty academia - travelling the world rambling on about my latest theory.
But my favourite it obviously the one where I shagged a variety of delicious rock stars before bagging Dave Grohl. All because he saw me in the crowd, Reading 1997.
And in all my parallel universes, I'd be smiling the biggest, widest smile known to man...just because I could.

Highwaylass said...

In my alternative universe, the morning someone said to me, "are you after this postgrad, then?" I actually said out loud, "no, you fool, I am after you." Instead of bottling out. In the other alternative universe, I went to the interview I got offered to be a staff writer on top gear magazine and am now a glamorous professional motoring writer.Instead of bottling out. :(

Anonymous said...

Fantastic idea; can I steal it?

I have two parallel universes. In the first, I left St Andrews and did a placement in South America because my boyfriend at the time was utterly supportive of my doing so. (although in the current world, he didn't actually stop me but he didn't kick my arse to Sao Paulo either). I am fluent in Spanish, I have worked with community groups all over the place and I have changed the world.

In my second parallel universe, as I was about to finish my post grad at Manchester, going out with an exceptionally fit climber I took up the offer of working at Lancs County Council's outdoor centre in Llanberis. I spend my time teaching kids from places without mountains how to rock climb and how to kayak. I lead E grades. I am slight and wiry, but very strong. I have a dog who is totally obedient and reliable and lots of fun; I wake up each day, draw back the curtains and see the black slate of vivien quarry with the deep electric blue water of the lake at the bottom of the cleft. I teach kids who come from the inner cities with nothing and they leave with a new confidence and purpose in life.

Rio said...

Nikos: I've never read Feynman but I've just looked him up on Amazon and as soon as I move out of the current phase of my life (I imagine I'm Jay Gatsby, everyone else thinks I'm Shirley Valentine) I'll be reading those.

Highwaylass: you are a glamorous staff writer as of today! Have read your first DT post and wiped away a proud tear ;-)

go-lemmings: what a great comment, I wish I could feel the same way about teaching inner-city kids that you do. Maybe I will after the summer hols: right now I've hit the metaphorical teaching wall. BTW I didn't know you read this, but I'm dead chuffed to see you here. Feel free to borrow / pillage at will. My score on the Top 100 Big Read books was 61/100. I should be an English teacher. Oh, I am.

Highwaylass said...

**blushes**

I have some Richard Feynman which I can lend you. My favourite two stories are "He fixes radios by thinking?" and "You just ask them?" (which is about how to get lovely ladies to pose nude for your drawings if you are a theoretical physicist in need of companionship).

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